A newlywed Afghan girl softly comforts her younger sister as she holds her.
In Afghanistan’s Kyrgyz community, the bride changes her red veil to white during the ceremony, officially declaring her marriage. In South Asian traditions, such as in Afghanistan and Nepal, there are customs that dictate the bride should not laugh out loud but instead bow her head to show modesty. If emotions are too overwhelming, the bride may cry, but laughter is forbidden. This is a symbolic gesture meant to convey to others that the bride's parents have cared for her well, and that marrying is a bittersweet moment. It also reflects a deeper, more genuine emotion. After all, the bride is truly leaving her birth family and entering a new, unfamiliar environment. The bride in the photograph is about 16 years old and her name is Ikhbal. Early marriages are still common in some underdeveloped areas of South Asia.
During her wedding, photographer Matthieu Paley captured this rare moment of Ikhbal, the bride, stopping her tears to embrace her sister. After being struck by the cultural contrasts of Afghan weddings, the photographer saw Ikhbal again a few weeks later, and by then, she had been accepted by her husband's family and had adapted well.
From the traditional Afghan bride to women in modern society, those who are married also experience a mix of emotions—happiness, reluctance, anticipation, and anxiety. Though modern brides may not have the custom of crying without laughing as Afghan brides do, the emotions of marrying into a new family are still shared universally, as “we are all the same under the sky”.
